Who's listening?

So here I am. Standing at the back of the church. It's completely empty except for my ex and his mom and my 3 month old daughter. This isn't the first time I've been in a church, actually, back home I went most every Sunday with my family. It was however, the first time I have felt nervous just standing there. I felt so confused by the feeling. And then I realized, I am ashamed of myself..

I hadn't prayed in a long time. I wasn't sure what to say, if God would even listen...

So I just started talking with God. I started telling him how I wasn't worthy of being in his presence, how I didn't deserve to be loved by someone, especially him. I told him how I have messed up everything in my life this far. I got knocked up, dropped out of college, got married for wrong reason, became a negative person, let my marriage go down hill and ultimately, filed for dissolution of marriage. But as I stood there looking at the beautiful art on the windows I realized that I had been wrong all along. I may have gotten on the wrong path, but I haven't messed up my life. I have learned a great deal of things and all together feel much closer to god than I did before it all began a year ago. God is a forgiver, so the things I did do wrong, like trying to go my own way, not relying on his help, ignoring the things in life that he has given me, those are the things I needed to change, but I was still forgiven for those, if I would just ask and give my life back to god.

So I did.